just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
