Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
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