Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
