Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My vagina just clenched in fear
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
