Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
