I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
