I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
