thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
