so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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