Your tits are I can't wait for
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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