You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Randomize
