im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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