I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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