I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just had sex on a roof
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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