ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
