dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize