Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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