I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
