You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize