I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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