so that wasnt chicken after all
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
