You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
