Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
