When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
