hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
