tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
