He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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