all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
