Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
