You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
