We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize