so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
