I love black thongs
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Randomize
