I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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