i just had sex bonerless
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
