My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize