O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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