this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
