After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My ass is underappreciated
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
