Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
