I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
In America we eat man semen.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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