Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
