You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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