and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
