I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize