he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
