ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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