I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
