Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
