oh god the rape fog is back!
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
