you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize