the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize