i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
