he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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