so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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