We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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