yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
