you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
