a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
What a dumb baby whore.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
