soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
