What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
