Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
