If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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