He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
