do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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