we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize