I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
