My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
