i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize