it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize